Get To Know Your Sisters
Lizzie Stuhlreyer is the most recent artist to be announced on social media for Art Beat’s Online Marketplace. Lizzie and I were partners in a previous business, and when I had the opportunity to open an art space in the Gulch, I immediately asked her to be a part of it, and she said yes—until she decided to pursue her own art full time. She is still always my go-to support for questions and help on all matters, personal and business, and she always listens to my “next big idea,” somehow never popping my bubble.
Without hesitation, what Lizzie is doing does make a great deal of sense, and it’s worth taking the time to discover! Lizzie’s art is a cast of women she refers to as the “Inner-Sisters,” and if you are familiar with IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy, her sisters are reminiscent of the parts Dr. Richard Schwartz identifies in this model. Lizzie’s sisters are self-portraits of her inner parts, or her “inner sisters.” In her vignettes, she captures emotions that move beyond the vagueness of language, words we hear but may not fully grasp in detail, like jealousy, discomfort in our own skin, or loneliness.
Loneliness is rarely about being physically alone. It’s about carrying pieces of yourself you don’t know how to say out loud. The thoughts you swallow. The emotions you manage privately. The parts of yourself you’ve been taught to hide, minimize, or “get over.”
— Lizzie Stuhlreyer
I have not read an explanation of loneliness that captures my own so well. And the beauty of her art and writing is that she takes what is so deeply personal and individual to her and gives it a universal dimension. It becomes a one-size-fits-all experience of our inner worlds. No longer are we alone in the closet with a pile of clothes that don’t fit. Instead, she invites us to take our outfits out one by one and, in community, replace missing buttons with new perspective, patch up shame with fabric we choose, and sew together bits and pieces of our own vulnerability.
Most of us walk through life looking perfectly put-together while managing a whole inner cast of characters—inner cheerleaders, inner critics, and the edited versions of ourselves that appear depending on the room we’re in. The “holiday-family-dinner” version of us is not the same one who shows up at work, or on a date, or with a trusted friend.
— Lizzie Stuhlreyer
These characters who carry us through life are as familiar as the imperfect loved ones in our worlds, our own sisters or friends who have become like sisters. They are the ones we admire and respect, and also judge and try to control. Lizzie’s art and writing guide us inward toward honoring our own sisters of strength, allowing them to be seen and to become the only family we truly have the power to heal and change. From that place, we can begin to extend grace to others, recognizing that their behaviors, too, are shaped by a desire to protect what is tender, unseen, or once wounded. With this awareness, “we are all doing our best” is not trite; it becomes a truth we can either settle on or allow to expand us.
“Loneliness is about carrying words you cannot say and truths you do not feel safe to share. Healing is learning to speak what matters most so you are no longer alone with it. This is the work of letting yourself be seen and known for who you really are.” — Carl Jung
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